Ending

In a blink of an eye..

Here we are in December..

Yea, I'm still here..

Still have no where to go..

Tried going here and there..

But still ending up back here..

..

I hope you're well there..

...

Christmas is around corner..

..

I wish I didn't had to lose you as a friend..

...

...

Take care there..

Sulking

Hello October...

I..

can't stop sulking..

I'm sorry..

Swimming

I gotta keep swimming..

If I stop..

I'll sink..

I'm tired..

But I can't stop..

Unreal

Spending almost the whole day with you

doing the things you want to do

is more than I can ask.

Especially watching you smile

again..

So unreal yet so real..

I'm really sorry yh..

I hope we can be friends again..

Fear

The fear lost

is a path

to the dark side..

Handling

I thought I was handling things well...

Why now..

...

Special

There's nothing special in anything anymore..

:(

Traveling

Traveling with a heavy heart..

:(

Elephant

I cannot, I cannot..

I cannot live with this elephant anymore..

I want to push this elephant out!

Can you please open the door?

As it's at the other end of the elephant

and I'm stuck at this end?

Please, yh..

please..

I'm sorry, yh..

*maybe the elephant wants out too*

Event

Our experiences may differ even when we are in the same event..

I'm sorry I didn't take the time and understand yours..

Scary

It's a very scary kind of feeling...

I do still have fears...

Yh...

Unfair

There are about 7 billion people in the world..

Why did you have to become the victim of this bitter lesson...

It feels unfair...

It is not fair at all..

I don't want whatever this is now..

It's not fair..

I'm sorry

Baggages

Baggages..

I use to complain about it..

Was unhappy about it..

But I don't know why..

I got used to it..

Sad...

And tiring...

I'm sorry yh...

Reaching

Is it....

Is it reaching the end of the line already?

Misuse

With the power of influence..

I misuse it..

I'm sorry yh..

Talks

Tired..

Tired of having small talks..

so..

empty...

Miss the long meaningful tallks..

...

Why did it had to be you......

I'm sorry...

Billions

There are millions of words out there..

Billions of ways to make sentences with them..

But I am running out of words to say..

I know well that words alone

won't do anything..

But I'm not sure what else to do..

I've secretly become timid..

Afraid of making things any worse

than it already is..

I'm sorry yh..

I would do anything to have our friendship back..

Manipulated

I may settle with being manipulated..

Ripple

It takes almost forever for a lake to calm completely..

And the tiniest pebble to create a ripple..

Like how these memories are now..

I'm sorry yh..

I'm sorry...

Shell

So that I learn to have a heart..

To be more human..

To be more reachable..

Less of just an empty shell..

I'm sorry yh..

I'm sorry...

Undo

I'm sorry I didn't gave you a choice.

I really wished I could turn back time and undo my mistakes..

I'm really sorry yh..

Heavy

It's not easy to be a christian..

The cross is heavy..

I pray for strength to carry on..

I am only human..

Words

Words are tiring..

Words can be really really tiring..

But what do I do then?

Scolded

I wish you were angry at me and scolded me...

I'm sorry yh...

Tooooo

Do I care too much?

Like tooooo much?

Until I'm hurting myself..

How come caring too much can be hurtful?

Shouldn't it...

not hurt?

Sigh...

Memory

A memory so difficult to forget..

I'm sorry yh..

Sorry..

Well

I hope you're doing well..

Keep smiling..

Laughing

Another one of those rare dreams..

Blast to the past..

You were in it..

Still holding on to whatever I can remember..

You laughing, me smiling..

I hope you can see things from my end...

If I saw things from your end,...

even I would be disgust of myself..

Hand

I held too tight and did not let go..

and both of us got hurt..

I'm sorry yh...

This hand has learned it's lesson..

A different hand that will appreciate you much better...

I'm sorry..

I don't know what I am saying anymore..

But I really hope a miracle will happen..

And that we can be friends again..

I'm sorry yh...

Journey

"Are you sure you are ready to take someone on this journey?

Because if you are not..

you might kill another life.."

Sorry yh...

Jealousy

It was a difficult time

when I didn't know how to handle jealousy..

And I because of that, you were hurt..

Several times...

I'm sorry yh...

Sky

The ground is not going to get any higher

for me to reach the sky..

but...

So what if I reach the sky..

It doesn't seem to have anything above those clouds that I desire..

I'm sorry..

I'm sorry we have to go through this for me to change..

I'm sorry...

Important

Why is it so important to me?

I can list a thousand and one reasons
why it is important to me..

But if what is important to me does not matter to you..

That thousand and one reasons
will not mean a thing..

.....

I really want to fix things, yh..

I really do...

Please..

CNY

This year..

 No one climbed around my head..

They're now older and and less interested in climbing..

More interested in their gadgets and games..

There were new younger ones..

But maybe not old enough to start climbing..

Maybe soon...

Thank you for listening..

I'm sorry I didn't..

Happy CNY, yh...

Taunt

That feeling..

The one where you realise that

so many simple things that could've been done to prevent..

to save...

but too late..

Regrets

Guilt

They often come to taunt now..

I'm sorry yh..

Condolences

5 years..

They tried..

But they broke up..

Reason?

They didn't know how to save the relationship..

Maybe they're better off not being together?

maybe....

But now...

Both hearts are aching tears are flowing..

My condolences...

Rose

Happy Valentine's Day..

I wish I could surprise you with a rose again..

But that's the past...

Enjoy Valentine's Day..

Trapped

Will I forever be trapped in this past?

I'm sorry for ruining this..

I'm sorry yh..

Nitez

nitez

Pulls

Life is tough when it pulls you back

while you strive to move forward.

Worst is when you're not just moving forward

but also chasing something..

And it's moving further..

And further away..

I'm sorry yh..

Allow

I cannot let hate take the wheel..

I will not allow it..

No..

No matter what..

:

Astray

So weary..

I went astray..

I'm sorry...

I'm really sorry...

Path

I didn't ask for any of this..

I'm walking back...

To that path...

And hope that I'll reach

where I wanna go..

Treat

We treat each other differently..

when we are the same..

I'm sorry for not treating you correctly..

Emotions

"Remember the last time you let your emotions took over?"

That's right..

Don't forget t

Scent

It's amazing how a scent can remind you so much of someone..

the intimacy..

the closeness..

and the only thing to do..

 

is to hope it doesn't fade away too fast..

that it will stay as long as it can..

...

Belonging

Maybe what all of us really want is something tangible

like a sense of belonging...

:(

Workaholic

Some of us work nonstop to be rich!

Some of us work nonstop to be somebody!

Some of us work nonstop for a better future.

I keep working...

to be distracted..

..workaholic..

I hope things will be better this year..

I'm sorry..

Light

The light...

Looks like a better place to be right now..

...

Forevers

It is dark and scary..

when the forevers in this world are real..

:(

Ticking

Each ticking second is killing me..

I'm sorry yh..

Stuck

Why am I still stuck here...

:(

I'm sorry..

Poison

Poison..

Burdens

My burdens..

They keep adding

Even though I've reached my limit..

long ago..

I'm sorry..

Please help me..

Explode

Please stop..

I can't take in anymore of these feelings..

I might just explode..

Or drown in them..

Please stop..

Please...

2015

2015..

More like a continuation of 2014..

So many mixed feelings..

Sigh...

Cares

The more one cares..

The more pain one gets..

But why does one continue to care

even with such returns..

A fool?

I'm sorry..